Daydreaming is effective thinking

My husband called it "zoning out" when we first met. That was before I learned how to hide the faraway look in my eye I got when I was daydreaming. But research now shows that daydreaming is the brain "in overdrive" and it's critical to creativity because it allows the brain to make connections it doesn't otherwise make. So go ahead and daydream. And if anyone tells you to get back to work, tell them your brain is in overdrive--and you're leaving them in the dust. Looking for other ways to be a better thinker? Read the rest of the piece, not just #9.

The REAL cost of meetings

Gotta love this "meeting miser" app, which calculates how much money each meeting costs the company. Good goods for companies who have a predilection for meeting instead of deciding.

87% like the tech tether

I used to be ambivalent about technology. I liked being able to work any time wherever I happened to be but worried that it would turn into working all the time, everywhere. I'm over it, though, and it seems that most of the rest of the workers around the world are, too. In a new survey, 87% of respondents said the ability to work any time and in any location improves their work/life balance, even though 35% say that technology contributes to working longer hours.

The boundary between work and home and all other aspects of life continues to blur. And if you doubt it, just follow a 20-something around for a day and watch how she toggles between the various areas of her life.

Mid-summer report card

A big part of this mashup life is parenting, and I had some definite ideas about my kids' personal growth over the summer. I put a few practices in place and here's how they're going so far.

Chore of the day: Each child now expects and accepts a chore of the day with minimal complaining. The house gets cleaned and they learn how to clean toilets--a useful life skill! Grade: A-

Meal of the week: I managed to have a child cook a meal once a week for the first two weeks. Then it fell apart. Still, if push came to shove, my son could survive on the one dish he made--spaghetti--and my daughter on the salmon with maple butter she made. Grade: C-.

Access to what makes them thrive, e.g., friends, favorite activities, tutoring: I think I've done a pretty good job of this, on average. I wonder if my kids would have a different answer, though. Grade: B.

Opportunities for increased responsibility/accountability: Happily, this came about naturally through things like kid- and pet-sitting jobs. Grade: A- but mostly because of our community of friends and not because of any effort on my part, other than the emotional effort of letting go and letting them learn life's lessons in whatever way they need to. So far, so good.

Napping in the boys room

I used to work at an agency that had co-ed bathrooms consisting of a little sitting area with three doors, each leading to a private bathroom with floor to ceiling walls. It never occurred to me that employees used them for other activities until my friend admitted to napping in them after lunch on occasion. As someone who has always appreciated a weekend catnap, which restores my good humor, focus, and creative mojo, I admired her chutzpah. It was the recent research by the Pew Research Center that brought this story to mind. One in three adults say a nap is part of their typical day--although I'm betting they don't try it at work.

Portfolio marriage = flexing over time

For years I've been bothered by Charles Handy's idea of a "portfolio marriage" in Age of Unreason, always thinking he meant serial monogamy--different marriages for different stages of your life.

Apparently I wasn't a careful reader 20 years ago, because, as I discovered upon re-reading that section of the book yesterday, his vision isn't one of changing marriage partners; his vision is one of changing patterns in a marriage--"a portfolio of possibilities," he calls it.

In successful marriages, spouses are able to flex over the lifetime of their relationship. Sometimes you get to take the lead, other times you play a supporting role. There will be times that your roles are ambiguous and overlap and other times your roles are clear and separate. Occasionally you might be "friendly rivals" in your careers and there may be periods when you each want, above all, just to pursue your own interests--maybe in retirement. The first part of this video gives some insight into how Handy and his wife, who is a successful photographer, sustain their marriage.

Writes Handy, "Too often a change in partner is the way many people match their need for a marriage with the need for change. . .If they do not realize that it is only the patterns which are changing, then it is the relationship which breaks."

There are many reasons marriages founder, of course, but I do think Handy was on to something. Circumstances change, people change, relationships change, and we have to be open to all of it and adjust. At the very least, we can wait it out. As we say about the weather in West Michigan, if you don't like it, just wait five minutes.

On office moves

In today's Wall Street Journal, a reporter talks about the discomfort of moving to a new office building. "A move can really shake up an office’s social structure," writes Elizabeth Bernstein. "It rearranges the company’s informal pecking order."

In a facilities move, that's often the point. Companies use their facilities strategically to change corporate culture or speed up response time. The smart ones are intentional about adjacencies, sometimes placing departments that intensely dislike each other together to improve communication. Research shows that people will turn to those closest to them to get non-critical information, which is why changing up adjacencies is effective. The folks who still feel uncomfortable sitting next to different colleagues at the WSJ could take a page from my friend Lois's book: Bring food and share it. Works every time.